My Spiritual Journey

In Sue Monk Kidd's book "Firstlight" She quotes that "Creating is an act of self-knowing. Through our own stories of our life we see the Mystery of ourselves more clearly. When you share your inner stories you allow others to enter your life and partake of your deepest truth."


I have been reading through my journals that cover a period of about 39 years.  I wrote because for me it was a way to try and understand what I was going through at that particular time.  As I wrote I would look back once in while and be able to make some since of it all.  But as I look back over these many journals I see the same similarities that kept coming back.  Most of my entries had to do with my walk with God and how it related to what ever situation I was going through at the time.  It has made me think about another area of our life where stages of growth are involved only this has strictly to do with the stages of our spiritual growth. 

Often I wonder anymore how did I get from where I was at to where I am now in my beliefs.  Being able to look back on where I began in this adventure it seems that I have gravitated back to the simplicity of my relationship with God as a child.  It had nothing to do with religion and everything to do with relationship.  Everything that I have experienced through the Bible in church through friends and the many books I have read have helped to bring me to the place I find myself now.
  In my journals I wrote this poem one day as I was trying to put into words what I was feeling. 

 The innocence of belief without any question

 is safe and secure all follow in the same direction.

How easy it is to walk one behind the other

without a question as to where you are going. 

Walking in faith one behind the other

 good little soldiers following only direction.

One by one,

one after the other

 off the cliff they fall on one another.

What is the reward,

 a golden crown,

a set in Heaven upon the ground.

Forever and eternity

I will sit and gaze upone Thee.

But for me there is a rebel inside

 that sits not still

and wants to cry,

where are we going

does anyone know

why do I feel so empty inside?

I am not like you nor are you like me.

Don't we have a right to express

and be free.

The chosen road I now partake

is much harder let there be no mistake.

To work at keeping God along my side,

without anyone to share the ride.

I see God in so many more places

He exist in all kinds of faces

His presence is in all I see

Heaven on earth that's the way it should be.