Natures Christmas Tree

     Looking out my bay window is like watching a big screen TV of real life in action. My holly tree is full of big fat red berry clusters.  It is natures Christmas tree. Among the branches, I see a few red cardinals here and there.  I see a woodpecker with a black and white spotted coat and a red cap upon his head.  You have to look close for the many other various birds that pick at the abundant fruit, but they are there you just take the time to look.  There are fluffy squirrels with their winter coats plush. They dance throughout the tree. Then one settles upon a branch nestled within a space. It is a perfect spot for an ornament. You can’t help but see him against the background of the deep green shinny leaves, nibbling away at his new found treasures of delight.  Another squirrel goes out to furthest end of a branch, a place where any other ornament would fall to the ground from its weight.  How graceful he sits upon it, bobbing up and down as he nibbles on one berry at a time.  His mouth moves a mile a minute as he chomps away at his treasured prize grabbing one berry after the other.  He appears as light as a feather, and I wonder how he does that.

     It is a tree of life more beautiful then any Christmas tree I could decorate myself. I feel blessed with a glimpse of heaven as I stop in my busyness to look at God’s creation.  It reminds me of what he so often calls me to, the simplicity of life, and what is truly important.  The birds, and squirrels, and what ever else lives within the tree, they don’t worry about tomorrow.  They take pleasure in the joy of the moment.   That’s all that matters and as they party harder in the tree dancing from branch to branch, singing their beautiful songs, eating from the tree of plenty there is peace and joy in their simplicity and I am blessed .

We are like Boomerangs

I am feeling creative today and as many things floot through my head I am reminded of something I read recently from "A Course in Mircles" that, "The law of creation is that you love your creations as yourself, because they are part of you." God calls us to be as he is because we are made in the same image and in understanding this knowledge we realize that we are called to create as he has created.  In our creations we reflect the God within.

What does it mean to create?  I am not a god myself so I know it's not about being creative in the since of of creating my own world.  It's not about being a creative person through writing, singing, painting, discovery or anything in this since.  I realize that what the law of creation is about is connected very much with the last two commandments we were given from Jesus, to love one another as God has loved us and to do onto others as we would want done onto us.
 
Our creation is about what we do in our everyday life.  How we respond to every circumstance, situation and condition we find ourselves in at every moment of our day.  We have to stop and ask ourselves am I responding to these conditions in a positive or negative way, is my response life giving or destructive.  No matter what we do we are part of one another and what is done to one is affected by all.  We are like boomerangs, what every we throw out there comes back to us.  So why not throw out all the good things we would like to come back to us.

I can talk the talk but can I walk the walk?

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Today I am having a frustrating day as I babysit my two Grandsons’. There is the one I call the gentle giant and the other whom is little…but feisty. At the age of 58, I do not have the patience or energy I had as a young mother many years ago yet I want to help and see my grandchildren experience the best that they can. Unfortunately, I have come to realize that I may not be the one to give them the best because I do not function to the capacity that they need in their lives right now. I just want to be a Grandparent again, where I can love them up as much as I want and give them back when I run out of juice.

After putting the little feisty one down for a nap after talking back to me, I sit here in the quite with my adrenalin running through my veins and reach my thoughts out to my Creator but I can’t free myself from the feeling of frustration that has a hold of me. Why is it that when we feel this way God feels so fare away and untouchable?

The ego or personal mind has me right where he wants me because it wants to be in control of everything and I hear things within like, see God does not really care…or…He doesn’t even exist. The question of “What’s it all about” begins to spin around in my head and as long as it keeps spinning, I will not see the truth.

The one way that I have found to free myself of this place of destruction is to write as I am now. Once I see what is really happing I am able to see that I am caught in the trap of myself where I am all alone and separate from God. Now that I can see, clearer all the fear, frustration and conflict of the situation goes away and I can once again find the peace, joy and light of the One who makes me completely again. I feel plugged into that life force that gives me the strength to keep going.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel as I focus on the hope up ahead that it brings me back to the place I long to be as a Grandparent. Where there is a will there is always a way and God simple says, “ask.”

Am I awake or asleep?

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Am I awake or asleep? I ask this question as I sit in my comfy chair in the corner of my room looking at my unmade bed. I cannot gage this or trust my own thoughts because there is something that always pulls me into confusion. Am I awake or asleep? The question in its self gives me the answer. I am asleep. I realize the condition of my own reality, that I cannot find my own way out of the dream. I am imprisoned and cannot think without the influence of my cellmate whose name is “Egor” or Ego for short.

The key to the cell is in the lock. I could leave anytime I want to but I find myself enveloped by the words of Ego. He feels me with fear, conflict, and confusion yet his way is so cunning that you find yourself believing everything he says.

A friend comes to visit me. He stands on the other side of the bars. He encourages me to follow Him but in order to do that I myself must turn the key, open the door and take the first step. My friend goes by the name of “HIS” short for Holy Spirit.

I stand there between Ego and HIS and look upon the bars that divide us. Ego has hold of my hand and pulls on me to come back to bed into the cozy warmth of the blankets. I look at HIS and reach my hand toward Him. However, HIS tells me…I will not…and cannot play the game of tug-war…you must unlock the door yourself, walk through, and awaken from your own nightmare.

Ego says no do not go its cold and lonely out there you will not survive without me. Come back to bed and sleep with me. I will keep you warm and secure.

HIS says, sleep is withdrawing, waking is joining.

As I stand between sleep and wake my thoughts go back to a time of my youth. It was time of being in between then also. I was 16 and at the height of the worst time of my life. I had nowhere to go and did not know what I was going to do. I was staying with a friend temporarily and in this state of desperation, I shut down. All I wanted to do was sleep all the time. I thought of sleeping as an escape from what I was experiencing and it seemed like a way of withdrawing from the world. However, when I slept I was actually in a better happier place where I did not want to leave. I was at peace.

I sit here and look once again at my unmade bed and think of the warmth beneath the blankets…am I asleep or awake? Ego says I am awake and pulls at me to come back to sleep with him.

HIS says…awake…turn the key, walk through the door and see the light of the day, feel the warmth of the sun upon you. Walk with me and I will help you find your way back to your true awakening.

I am sitting in my comfy chair in the corner of my room and as I look at my bed this time, I see that it is made. I am awake and feel a connection with all that is around me. I am no longer fearful or in conflict I am One, Whole and Complete. I am at peace.