"Start From Now!"

It seems like only yesterday that I was riding in the car with my Dad when he said to me, “ya know I don’t know how much longer I have in this world, but I just want to know that when I go you will always be there for Sue.”

 Sue was his wife who had been with him for over 30 years.  She was a lot younger then him and not much older then myself.  I loved her dearly she was good for him, made him happy, and truly helped him to be a better man.   I said of course I would, but I asked him in return that he would leave some words of wisdom to help get me through the difficult time since he would no longer be there for me. I didn’t ask for money or possessions, I simple wanted his words that held more value for me than anything. He always had such great words of wisdom and the idea of not having him around to talk with was more then I could bear. We were very close and shared many of the same beliefs.

It was about a year later that he died unexpectedly.  I was there of course for Sue in between my own loss and grief.   I asked Sue several times, if he had left a note for me, but there was nothing, and all I could hope for was that someday she would come across it.  I was hurt, and with grief we go through so many stages that I had to work hard at letting it go.   As time went on I realized that his words had resonated so much within me that it seemed our conversations continued to go on as I would contemplate what he would have said about this or that.   

It wasn’t but a few years later that Sue became ill and lost her battle with cancer.  I held to my promise right up to the end and I did the best I could.  I knew my Dad would have been proud of me.  When she passed away, I came back into the quiet of their home and sat among all their stuff.   Everything told a story about who they were, yet it was only stuff without them.  Eventually I had to break all the pieces of their life down, and get rid of it.  In the process, I went on a treasure hunt looking for my letter.

I never found a specific letter but what I did find was a few little notebooks he always carried with him in his pocket.  If he read something that spoke to his spirit, he would jot it down so he could refer back to it whenever he needed it.  I found little pieces of paper scattered throughout the house with jotted phases, quotes, and poems that spoke to his heart.  One paper was a yellow sticky I found on the inside door of his medicine cabinet which he opened ever morning when he pulled out his shaving kit. It had these simple but powerful words that spoke to my heart, “Start from now!”  I knew what it meant, as he would often tell me how important it was to bring you into the moment.  If you stop for the moment to look at where you are right now, it’s always a new beginning. Nothing else matters but where you find yourself right now at this moment.

I now have that little sticky note inside a frame.  It sits in my bathroom where I can see it first thing in the morning when I wash away the sleepiness from my eyes.  I keep the rest of the notes in my little treasure box of goodies and contemplate the wisdom and insight they bring to me as they did him.  I have since learned to look for the voice of God in all things for he specks to us in many ways, all we have to do is “Start from now!” 

A Time and Season for Everything

I thought that as I got older things would settle down, and I could slip into the life I had created that I was often too busy to appreciate.  Now that I am in this place, everything that I hold precious and dear seems to be fading away.  

It seems that in the nature of life within the world we live eventually everything falls and crumbles only to begin a new structure again.

Today God reminds me that there is a time and season for everything. I can’t think of a better example then the metaphor he shows us through the changing seasons.  The summer is a time for living and playing within the life we have built; the fall a time to harvest and contemplate upon all which we have accomplished; the winter a time to morn all that we’ve lost, and recover after a time of healing; and the spring a time of new birth and beginnings. 

How many winters must we go through to get to the place where our springs can burst forth.  For each person that time of grief and healing is individual and can have no time set.  But eventfully the bulbs beneath the surface begin to push against the pain, and we can no longer hold them back from breaking through into new life.  We are then once again in the mist of Gods reformation.  We are once again in the flow of life moving toward more growth and beauty that life has yet to offer us. 

How do we get to this point? Not one day or month at a time, but within each moment we can bring our awareness.  Things come and go but as long as we are here, there are chances for new beginnings. 

"How Does Your Garden Grow"

Wow! Hasn’t this been great weather?  Today marks the first day of spring, who remembers the last time it actually felt like spring in March.  My calendar for March actually shows birds eating from a bird feeder in the snow.  I wondered if that might have been a misprint, yet how often Mother Nature has fooled us.  We are all wondering should I change my clothes around, as I write this I watch a young women walk past my house in short shorts and a sleeveless top... hum...I don’t think I’m quite ready for that yet.

Gardening has been in the forefront of my mind.  I am loving being out cleaning things up just being out in the warmth of the sun and breathing the fresh air after a long winter.  Not only is gardening on my mind because of this great weather but it seems that everything I pick up to read is talking about growing our gardens. 

Most of what I see coming up in my gardens right now beside the bulbs of early spring are many weeds.  With the mild winter, I guess they have had more opportunity to germinate.  Right now, it’s easy to pull them out, so I like to get to them before they take over.  I don’t like to look at anything as being bad.  Weeds have a purpose in life just like any other beautiful plant.  I just don’t want them in my garden where they can take over and choke out all the beautiful flowers I plants.  As I pull my weeds and make room for the plants I want, I do a lot of thinking, contemplating and praying.  I think of the many parables, metaphors, and allegories written to help us see the many correlations to simple everyday things that teach us about ourselves.  Of course, the Bible has many parables about the planting of seeds.  My favorite is the one about the mustered seed.  If my faith was simple as big as a mustard seed, I could move mountains.   That overwhelms me because I think I have a lot of faith, but I know I can’t move mountains with what I have yet.  What is it inside of you or me that keep us from having that kind of faith?  I know within myself it has to do with the kind of things I plant within my mind and thoughts.  If I allow myself to get caught up in the negative things, they become like wild weeds taking over all the beautiful Godly things I have planted.  So just like my gardens outside, I need to cultivate my garden within, keeping all the negative weeds down, feeding all the positive good and Holy thoughts so that my faith within can grow big enough to move anything that stands in the way of the peace and joy my Garden brings me. 

My House & The Treasures Within

My House…

I live within a shell made of rocks.  Each one stands side by side, they sit one on top of the other, until they are high enough above my head and wide enough for me to move about within their embrace.   They are a mix match of colors grey, rust, tan, and brown, a quilt made of natural stone.  They feel hard, strong, solid, heavy, and rugged like sandpaper to the touch…the wolf will never blow it down. They smell of the earth and taste a bit salty.  They are a living substance not always appreciated for what they are or what they can do.  Sometimes when the sun hits them at the right angle they give off a glow that sparkles like tiny diamonds within showing off all of their own unique glory.

Is a rock just a lump that sits upon the earth it depends on how you look at it?  If I give it meaning and purpose it becomes more then a lump upon the ground it becomes part of me and I of it.  It is my shelter my home my shell, my comfort, my haven. Somewhere in the wild scheme of things, I choose the rocks and rocks choose me together we give purpose to what we are and become one like a turtle with its shell upon its back.

…And The Treasures Within

Through the eyes of my stone house, the rays of Gods light stretch their fingers to touch upon a simple vase covered in chips of glass.  I find myself standing in the middle of the room with a meteor shower of colorful chips dancing upon the walls and ceiling… prisms of color everywhere.  I shiver with that feeling of Grace that leaves me with the tingle of goose bumps.  It feels as if the colors themselves have seeped inside of me.  There are special treasures within everything and I am glad for the moments that I stop and see the creation within its perfect timing for in the blink of eye it is gone.

The Wrong Foot Kid-learning the hard way

     Life can be as easy or difficult as we make it. Sometimes it’s as easy as putting our shoes on the right feet or as difficult as putting them on backward.  The point is we have a choice, and whatever way we decide to wear them will determine the outcome.

      My Granddaughter had a thing about putting her shoes on the wrong feet all the time.  It would never fail that when she sat down to put them on…in her mind they looked the way they were suppose to be.  Up she would go outside to play with her cousins.

     Sitting on the porch, I’d watch her come out, and I’d say, “Keria, you have your shoes on the wrong feet.”

“Oh, that’s ok Granny, I don’t mind them this way,” she’d say, and off she’d go to play with her cousins in the yard.

     I’d sit there watching them run around playing tag.  She’d run about trying not to be tagged, and trip all over her feet.  She was one that did not like to lose, and I could see her getting frustrated.

      I’d call out to her again. “Keria, if you just switch your shoes around you’ll be able to run much better.”

   
     “Oh, that’s alright Granny.  I don’t mind them like this,” she’d say again.

     I wondered if that’s what it’s like in our life when God the Father, the Son, or the Holy Spirit is trying to help show us the right way.  How often we think we know better and don’t need anyone else to tell us how to do what we are perfectly happy doing the hard way.
 
     That’s when I picture God, the Son, and Holy Spirit settling in on the porch saying to each other…looks like we’re going to have to wait this one out.  God being the creative one sits back and pulls out his knitting.  The Holy Spirit being full of all kinds of wisdom and knowledge pulls out his Sudoku.  Jesus being the one who’s been there and done that, as a human just sits back and takes a nap.  Knowing that once we trip enough times will eventually get the message... and put our shoes on the right feet.